My kids get into my stuff. Repeatedly. I practically have to lock things up to keep them sacred. We've tried time outs, SPANKINGS, taking things away from them... but what I am doing is not working.
They particularly love a Christmas Ornament that I got when I was 5 years old. Made of glass it has a glossy shine that is irresistible. It is a brown rocking horse with 2 mice riding on top. I have loved and cherished it for all these years remembering the magic it brought every Christmas when we were able to hang our very own ornament on the tree. I keep it with similar items of importance and have never gotten it out.
The children found it. They kept bringing it out and I kept hiding it. Finally this morning over breakfast it resurfaced. I reached out to grab it and it crumbled in my angry fist. I threw it away. I then turned to the children. I wanted them to know how upset I was. They had already broken a ball pump moments before. In my hands was a newly opened bag of Lucky Charms. The 5 pound er. I threw the bag on the counter and it burst open. The children started laughing. I took that bag and I shook it and finished spraying the floor with the remains. Everything was covered with a fine dust of lucky charms.
And then I made them pick them up one by one.
I shouted at them. I was so mad. I could feel my heart hurting. I said things like "you have no respect for anyone or anything" "You don't even care that you broke something of mine and that it hurts my feelings" And so on and so forth. They were quiet and went on working to pick up the lucky charms - eating some of them in the process.
My son had to catch the bus and I checked his backpack. He was supposed to return the wallet he found at school. In my search I found a zip lock bag that contained an orange, a pudding, several pretzels and a handful of lucky charms. "Jon" I said, You cannot take this to school." But Mom, it's my cold lunch! he replied. I did not let him take it. He wants to be cool like the other children and take a home lunch. What a let down. I paid for his school meals for the entire year so he would get a good hot lunch and not have to take a "cold lunch". What is this world coming to?
I'm still finding lucky charms.
My mother had a similar experience when she was a mom about my age. My brother and I had gotten into a batch of pudding my mother had made. You could see little finger marks from where we had dipped into the bowl. We of course had tried her patience all morning and this was the last straw. Boy did we get it. "You want pudding! Here, have some pudding!" and she dumped the bowl of pudding at our feet. We felt bad immediatly. I feel bad that we upset her but in my little mind I was wondering why can't we have the pudding? Why do we have to wait until dinner?
As you can see I am having a problem helping my children understand the reasoning why they can't have my things.
I called my mom this morning. I said to her "I just had a pudding moment." She instantly knew what I was talking about and we both had ourselves a laugh mixed with tears. We talked about Life Lessons and processes that we go through when we are learning how to react to moments such as these.
Which brings me to the Melmac Moments.
When my mother was a little girl her mother was in the kitchen trying to bake. The children had not done their chores which included getting the dishes done. Mumbling to herself and complaining about not having a single spot to put anything she turned around to see her children watching. It was the same feeling I have described to you in my story and in my mothers story. A moment of built up stress and exhaustion... and then the explosion. In my Grandmothers hand she held a Melmac dish. When she had bought it from the salesman he sold her on the fact that Melmac dishes never break. You can drop them or throw them - they'll never break!
She threw that Melmac Cup. It shattered.
I am sure that what happened today will be forever recorded in my childrens heart and memories. I am not proud of this moment. I do not excuse my actions or try to find pardon.
Mirror mirror on the wall - I am my mother after all.
And now, I' m going out on a limb...
Do you have a Melmac moment? One that you would like to share? Do you find yourself mimicking things your parents said when you were a child.
If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?
Close the door - I'm not going to heat the whole outdoors!
Send your story to jdmessyjess@gmail.com
I will post your story on a new blog I am creating named THE MELMAC MOMENTS and after I compile 100 stories I will send them to you in Acrobat file format. And I will keep sending them 100 at a time as I get them. If it's a success I will see what I can do to get a book published. This will be so much fun. A compilation of your stories will be given to my own mother for her birthday in September.
My children obviously are not respecting my things. What have I failed to teach them? What do I need to teach them? What's the reasoning behind the rule DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS? Why is bedtime at 8pm? Why do we have to brush our teeth? Why?
Children are surrounded by rules all day long. Rules are good. It is so nice when a child is obedient but even better if he can understand why the rule is important.
I find that the world is full of people trying to appear perfect. I have found the best stories to be the one with honest emotion and honest feelings. A confession that one is not perfect and that it is okay to feel that way. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to pick yourself up and admit that things aren't how they should be, to be able to learn from your experience and try it again. It's about not giving up. It's about finding a solution and being able to communicate and work as a team.
The day that I realized that my mom was human and that adults make mistakes....
and can be forgiven -
that was the day I was able to forgive myself too -
and move on with my life.
So give it a try! What is your Melmac Moment?
Include how you felt and how you decided to turn things around.
Cheer someone else on and let them know that they are not alone - it happens to the best of us!
If you handled a moment with coolness and thoughtfullness - let us know! Be proud of the fact that you learned to keep it all together!
Success moments!
The ah -ha moments.
Send it all in and share it!
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