Twisted Cinderella

Song for a Fifth Child
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton



Only One Childhood
I stopped to watch my little girl
busy playing in her room.
In one hand was a plastic phone;
in the other a toy broom.

I listened as she was speaking
to her make believe little friend
and I'll never forget the words she said,
even though it was pretend.

She said, "Suzie's in the corner
cuz she's not been very good.
She didn't listen to a word I said
or do the things she should."

In the corner I saw her baby doll
all dressed in lace and pink.
It was obvious she'd been put there
to sit alone and think.

My daughter continued her "conversation,"
as I sat down on the floor.
She said, "I'm all fed up I just don't know
what to do with her anymore?

She whines whenever I have to work
and wants to play games, too;
she never lets me do the things
that I just have to do?

She tries to help me with the dishes,
but her arms just cannot reach
and she doesn't know how to fold the towels
and I don't have the time to teach.

I have a lot of work to do
and a big house to keep clean.
I don't have the time to sit and play --
don't you know what I mean?"

And that day I thought a lot about
making some changes in my life;
as I listened to her innocent words
that cut me like a knife.

I hadn't been paying enough attention
to what I hold most dear.
I'd been caught up in responsibilities
that increased throughout the year.

But now my attitude has changed,
because, in my heart, I realize
I've seen the world in a different light
through my little darling's eyes.

So, let the cobwebs have the corners
and the dustbunnies rule the floor,
I'm not going to worry about
keeping up with them anymore.

I'm going to fill the house with memories
of a child and her mother
for God grants us Only One Childhood,
and we will never get another.

Linda Ellis

Kenni

MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
and get their answer when a little
voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mom doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? Like she knows anything.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's such an old fart!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Please send this to 5 Mom's today.

If you don't, nothing bad will happen,
but if you do, something good
will:
YOU WILL BOOST A MOTHERS SPIRIT .

Jami

Lesson Learned

Last night, when I went to bed, I debated on setting my alarm so I could be up before the kids... I didn't set it, because it's Saturday and I didn't think being up before my kids was necessary. I could not have been more wrong. Seriously. Crazy thoughts like setting one's alarm on a Friday night should NOT be ignored... it's not just a fleeting thought... it's DIVINE INSPIRATION.

This morning, when I finally did wake up (8 something) I decided to get in the shower, then go upstairs to grace my kids' presence (who, by the way, woke up at 6:48am this morning). While in the shower, I recollected mornings past when I've simply been impatient my kids being kids so I prayed for patience. I don't normally do this because my theory is when you pray for something like patience, you're tested to BUILD said patience. I didn't want this, and made that quite clear in my prayer. (Not my will, but thine, right?) When I got out, I went upstairs in my robe, told them to clean the mess by the time I was dressed or no breakfast... just your typical huge mess including dozens of My Little Ponies and accessories, as well as my daughters make-up that she got for Christmas. (I know this is partially my fault for not being up to supervise, hence my not-yelling-calmness in doing so. But they really should know better... I would think.)

WELL, while I was getting dressed ever-so-slowly (big mistake, by the way... read on...) I heard massive amounts of giggles that lead me to believe cleaning was not their top priority. Then, the giggles stopped. My foolish thinking was maybe one of them is hungry and told the other to clean and so they are. One thing I've learned recently is that when my kids are left to their own design, disastrous things happen. You'd think I would remember this now and dress a little faster. Maybe I was in denial. I don't know.

So, I come upstairs. Toys are still on the floor. The first thing out of my son's mouth is "her fault". The first thing out of my daughter's mouth is "I got it mostly cleaned". I'm thinking they're talking about the toys. Not so. Upon closer inspection, I notice the mostly pink wet wash cloth in my daughter's hand. And this:







Apparently, I wasn't clear in my request for them to clean up. My guess is it sounded more like "throw the toys at each other as soon as I leave the room, including the nail polish some genious got you for Christmas until it hits the table, breaks, and spills all over the floor, chairs and table." I really need to watch what I say to my kids.

Yeah, who said giving a 5 year old MAKE-UP for Christmas was a bad idea?? NO ONE. And if they had, the fool who got it for her (if you haven't caught on by now, it was her MOTHER) wouldn't have listened anyway.

Almost an hour and about 1 cup of bleach water later, the carpet is mostly cleaned, with just a hint of a pinkish hue.





So, what lesson was learned? Not just one, my friends, but several, I'm afraid.


1. NEVER, EV-ER give a 5 year old make-up for Christmas.
2. NEVER, EV-ER pray for patience. (See above theory and how it was proven to be true.)
3. Better listen to mom when she says clean up or no breakfast. Yep, folks, I stuck to my word.
4. When you already know that kids left alone = disaster, LISTEN TO THAT VOICE THAT SAYS SET YOUR ALARM, EVEN IF IT IS A FRIDAY NIGHT, and dress quickly after a shower instead of giving the guilty more time for trouble-causing, even when your intent was to give them more time to clean.
5. Really, I set my kids up for this. How often do I do that? WAY too many times. I'M the one who should know better.


And the most important lesson, which occurred to me amongst my tears & bleach water concoction, prayers are indeed answered. I didn't yell once. Now this could be because I was beyond words, or that if I opened my mouth my kids may have heard words never before uttered in this house... either way, I was able to make my kids finish cleaning up the toys, get dressed and starve all without yelling. How about that?


The ironic thing? While I was in the shower, I was trying to think of things I could do with my kids today... and painting toes was on the list of brilliant things I came up with. Ha ha ha!!


And I thought I wouldn't have anything to blog about today...

Mitchell

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the
following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch
tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He
just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.They had to get their start from men's bones.
Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother
and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other
people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that
other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but
my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she
married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a
crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO
to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And
my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her
thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to
because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom.. You can tell by room inspection. She sees
the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot
more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just
go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring
them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all
the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if
you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mom's have magic, they make you feel better
without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside,
I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe
blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom,
what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room
clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know
it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible
eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING --
SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS,
AUNTS and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or
just needs a good laugh!!!

Cynthia

Cool! My Melmac Moment involved torn up scrapbook pages. I even posted about it on a messageboard and got flamed with the classic "Just be glad you could have children- you shouldn't complain about anything". I told the flammer that when she had gone through all the infertility treatments I had- she could whine at me. And if she were lucky enough to have kids at some point, she'd get frustrated with them too sometimes!

Tara

That's a great idea Jess! I've lost my temper with poor Chloe many times when she's screaming and I don't know why. How ridiculous to lose my temper. Obviously something is wrong with her and she cannot verbalize! Poor girl, all these problems, and then an impatient mommy to boot!

I have melmac moments from my childhood. I think of a good one or two and send it your way!

Heidi

Poor Jess! It makes me think about what Marie Osmond wrote in her book about how she had a breakdown and got in the car and drove all day and checked into a seedy motel. She called her mom who told her that she had done the exact same thing when she was Marie's age. So, either these things are heriditary or we do them b/c our mom did them--either way, we just all have to try to do the best that we can. And get help if we need it. And not heap recriminations onto our heads. It doesn't make it better.

Becka Babe

Wow that's so weird, just a few hours ago I scared the bageese's out of my 16yr. old brother when Liza was screaming for no reason I went into the other room and started screaming in the same high pitched deafening scream she was, then yelled I can go alot longer and louder then you can, wanna play? Then she started to laugh @ me, but I dont think Joseph's used to hearing me like that.
I've got better ones I could e-mail to you though! If we were perfect we wouldn't be here.

Island Girl

Ah, beautiful post Jessica! Especially loved hearing about grandma and your mother! I still remember my Mom's Melmac moment, something we did got her mad, and she took off in the van. We'd never seen her just take off like that before, we were afraid of where she might have gone. Well, she came back with stuff for us from Pic n Save? Remember that? It's a Big Lots now. Anyways, I still remember thinking, hmm, she should get mad more often, she goes shopping!

Me, I've had plenty of Melmac moments, they usually end with me stomping up to my room, slamming my door and then crying, what a baby I am!

Jami

I have to say, your blog entry was very entertaining... ;)

I had a moment just like this just the other day....

I had this brilliant idea over Christmas break to get some crafty things for my kids to keep them busy... I had it all planned to perfection... they were to paint the little wooden plaques I bought them, let them dry over night, then decorate them to completion the next day. So, we got out the paint. One color per kid... then they decide to trade. Ok, not what I had imagined, but whatever, it's theirs, right? I turn my back for just a few minutes, in the same room even, and then the uncontrollable giggling starts. You know the kind. It's the kind that makes you really not want to see what's going on but you have to or it'll just get worse. I went over to see what they were doing and they had painted their plaques... and the table.... and their hands.... and their arms... and the chair.... and the carpet. I was so furious, I couldn't even think about being calm. I commanded them in a rather loud voice to go and wash their hands and "if I find paint on ONE thing...". I then proceded to quickly grab a wet washcloth to address the carpet issue. It's not coming out. I storm back into the kitchen and grab my concoction of bleach water for carpet stain emergencies... When I go to spray it, it doesn't come out. The sprayer needs to be held upright (because heaven forbid you should have to tilt the thing down to spray something on a horizontal surface) so in order for any to come out, I have to first spray everything in front of me, then hope there's enough in the tube for the targeted area. This, of course, does nothing for my already lost temper... so I begin to beat my table with the bleach bottle. The spray nozzle completely breaks off. Bleach water everywhere. In my hair. On my clothes. And, yes, on the carpet. At this point, I totally lose it. I'm beyond angry. I'm in tears and so frustrated I really don't know what to think or what to be mad at more. When my kids come back upstairs, I very firmly told them to stay downstairs till Dad gets home. No argument. They just turn around and retreat to safety. Right before Dad got home, I hear footsteps on the stairs. By now I'm ok and feeling guilty for having lost it so badly. I hear a meek little voice asking if Daddy's home yet. Not exactly my mother of the year moment, but really? My kids are 5 and 7... don't they know they're supposed to NOT have fun when painting? Geesh.

"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."

-Abraham Lincoln

Melmac Moments

My kids get into my stuff. Repeatedly. I practically have to lock things up to keep them sacred. We've tried time outs, SPANKINGS, taking things away from them... but what I am doing is not working.

They particularly love a Christmas Ornament that I got when I was 5 years old. Made of glass it has a glossy shine that is irresistible. It is a brown rocking horse with 2 mice riding on top. I have loved and cherished it for all these years remembering the magic it brought every Christmas when we were able to hang our very own ornament on the tree. I keep it with similar items of importance and have never gotten it out.

The children found it. They kept bringing it out and I kept hiding it. Finally this morning over breakfast it resurfaced. I reached out to grab it and it crumbled in my angry fist. I threw it away. I then turned to the children. I wanted them to know how upset I was. They had already broken a ball pump moments before. In my hands was a newly opened bag of Lucky Charms. The 5 pound er. I threw the bag on the counter and it burst open. The children started laughing. I took that bag and I shook it and finished spraying the floor with the remains. Everything was covered with a fine dust of lucky charms.

And then I made them pick them up one by one.

I shouted at them. I was so mad. I could feel my heart hurting. I said things like "you have no respect for anyone or anything" "You don't even care that you broke something of mine and that it hurts my feelings" And so on and so forth. They were quiet and went on working to pick up the lucky charms - eating some of them in the process.

My son had to catch the bus and I checked his backpack. He was supposed to return the wallet he found at school. In my search I found a zip lock bag that contained an orange, a pudding, several pretzels and a handful of lucky charms. "Jon" I said, You cannot take this to school." But Mom, it's my cold lunch! he replied. I did not let him take it. He wants to be cool like the other children and take a home lunch. What a let down. I paid for his school meals for the entire year so he would get a good hot lunch and not have to take a "cold lunch". What is this world coming to?

I'm still finding lucky charms.

My mother had a similar experience when she was a mom about my age. My brother and I had gotten into a batch of pudding my mother had made. You could see little finger marks from where we had dipped into the bowl. We of course had tried her patience all morning and this was the last straw. Boy did we get it. "You want pudding! Here, have some pudding!" and she dumped the bowl of pudding at our feet. We felt bad immediatly. I feel bad that we upset her but in my little mind I was wondering why can't we have the pudding? Why do we have to wait until dinner?

As you can see I am having a problem helping my children understand the reasoning why they can't have my things.

I called my mom this morning. I said to her "I just had a pudding moment." She instantly knew what I was talking about and we both had ourselves a laugh mixed with tears. We talked about Life Lessons and processes that we go through when we are learning how to react to moments such as these.

Which brings me to the Melmac Moments.

When my mother was a little girl her mother was in the kitchen trying to bake. The children had not done their chores which included getting the dishes done. Mumbling to herself and complaining about not having a single spot to put anything she turned around to see her children watching. It was the same feeling I have described to you in my story and in my mothers story. A moment of built up stress and exhaustion... and then the explosion. In my Grandmothers hand she held a Melmac dish. When she had bought it from the salesman he sold her on the fact that Melmac dishes never break. You can drop them or throw them - they'll never break!
She threw that Melmac Cup. It shattered.

I am sure that what happened today will be forever recorded in my childrens heart and memories. I am not proud of this moment. I do not excuse my actions or try to find pardon.

Mirror mirror on the wall - I am my mother after all.

And now, I' m going out on a limb...
Do you have a Melmac moment? One that you would like to share? Do you find yourself mimicking things your parents said when you were a child.

If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?
Close the door - I'm not going to heat the whole outdoors!

Send your story to jdmessyjess@gmail.com
I will post your story on a new blog I am creating named THE MELMAC MOMENTS and after I compile 100 stories I will send them to you in Acrobat file format. And I will keep sending them 100 at a time as I get them. If it's a success I will see what I can do to get a book published. This will be so much fun. A compilation of your stories will be given to my own mother for her birthday in September.

I should have clarified what I wanted. A Melmac moment does not have to be a bad experience. A Melmac moment is the realization that what you are doing isn't working. An, ah - ha moment. A learning experience. A mom moment.

My children obviously are not respecting my things. What have I failed to teach them? What do I need to teach them? What's the reasoning behind the rule DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS? Why is bedtime at 8pm? Why do we have to brush our teeth? Why?

Children are surrounded by rules all day long. Rules are good. It is so nice when a child is obedient but even better if he can understand why the rule is important.

I find that the world is full of people trying to appear perfect. I have found the best stories to be the one with honest emotion and honest feelings. A confession that one is not perfect and that it is okay to feel that way. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to pick yourself up and admit that things aren't how they should be, to be able to learn from your experience and try it again. It's about not giving up. It's about finding a solution and being able to communicate and work as a team.

The day that I realized that my mom was human and that adults make mistakes....

and can be forgiven -

that was the day I was able to forgive myself too -

and move on with my life.

So give it a try! What is your Melmac Moment?

Include how you felt and how you decided to turn things around.

Cheer someone else on and let them know that they are not alone - it happens to the best of us!

If you handled a moment with coolness and thoughtfullness - let us know! Be proud of the fact that you learned to keep it all together!

Success moments!

The ah -ha moments.

Send it all in and share it!